Bad again

I'm scared because its getting bad again. I know its getting bad because I have been consciously thinking about it and noticing it getting bad again. When everything good there is no think about these things. I think I need a higher dose of medication, but what happens when I am at the highest dose and it gets bad again? What happens in 10 years, or 20 years, or when I'm fucking 80 years old and its still bad.